If you are gullible, the joke is on you because you are easily fooled

A loquacious person talks a lot, often about stuff that only they think is interesting

If you are guileless, you are not a liar; you are innocent, and you might be a touch on the gullible side

Whatever it is, when you divest something, you get rid of it.

If you adulterate something, you mess it up

If you know someone who's outgoing, sociable, and fond of the company of others, you might want to call her gregarious

The adjective ravishing describes something or someone of exceptional beauty. 

If you want to show someone you're not happy with his behavior, admonish him.

Joking that your dead grandmother "never looked better" could inject some levity

Gouge means stealing by overcharging.

Complaisant means willing to do something to please others, and complaisant people or animals are wonderful to be around.

A soda and pizza binge might make your stomach distend, meaning your stomach will swell as a result of pressure from the inside.

Abscond is to escape, often taking something along. 

When you feel lethargic, you're sluggish or lacking energy.

When you make a cogent argument, it means your argument is clear and persuasive.

Use the adjective auspicious for a favorable situation or set of conditions. 

To laud someone doesn't mean to give them knighthood, but to praise them extravagantly.

A garrulous person just won’t stop talking (and talking, and talking, and talking...)

The dissolution of a relationship means that it's broken up or ended.

When liquid starts to thicken and become solid, it coagulates.