Date: Sunday April 12th 2015
Topic Clarification: In this discussion, parents would live in the house of their parents.
Participants (from 10 countries):
Egypt: Asmaa, Alama, Mohamed | China: Miranda, Judie, Alina, Angie | Uganda: Daniel | Spain: Oscar | India : Sunita | Algeria: Saada, Kamal | Tunisia: Marwa, Amine | Colombia: Sandra | USA: Rick, Rebecca, Lars | Argentina: Johny |
Team A: (Yes) Asmaa, Alama, Miranda, Judie, Alina, Daniel, Oscar, Sunita, Saada, Marwa, Sandra,
Team B: (No) Rick, Amine
Team C: (On the fence) Johny, Mohamed, Angie
Others that briefly joined: Rebecca, Lars, Kamal
Team A Summary:
- Some people felt that this is a duty, not an option. “Our parents looked out for us, made sacrifices when we were young, now it’s our responsibility to take care of them”
- There was a Turkish movie made on this subject, people can ask Marwa for the name of the movie.
- Others felt it is a blessing to have our parents in our home that they add to the family environment.
- One of the members talked about her current situation, where her mother and father in law live in her home and she feels obligated to care for them but in her country, on the girl’s side there might not always be someone there to take care of the parents if there are no brothers that will do this. She also mentioned that her son wants to leave the country, and that she feels it is important for her and her husband to plan ahead, to be able to take care of themselves, to not to have to depend on their children.
- One of the members in her country talked about if the parents cannot work, it is the responsibility of the child to care for them in her home.
Team B Summary:
- One of the points about elderly parents is that they still need social interaction, assuming they have good mental and physical health. Just staying at home may not provide this social interaction.
- If the parents have several medical conditions, they may require 24 hour care, and in some cases, this type of care may not be available in the home.
- Most people, especially in Western Countries, have a strong desire to feel independent, even when they are older. One member talked about his grandfather and grandmother that even though they were in their 80’s and 90’s, still wanted to drive to places, go out on their own, and even work.
- The other point that came up was the situation where in a global market, many people move overseas to work, and many will stay there to live, and their parents often want to stay in their country of birth. This will create a problem if the expectation is for the parents to live with the child.
Some summary points
o Culture has a large impact on this topic, in many cultures it is expected to take care of your parents by having them live in your home
o In some cases, the children may end up blaming the parents because they will feel they no longer have a life
o Preparing a Plan is critical, thinking ahead should be done
o No matter the culture, we all love our parents, we just have different ideas of how to deal with this situation
Team C Summary:
- This was a very interesting debate and Team C asked some very good questions before making their decision. At the end of the debate, only one member of Team C was still left, and this was Johny
o Johny= Team B
- Team B won this debate. Thanks to everyone for participating.
Below is the link to listen to our chat
- Children should provide room and board (lodging, food) for their aging/elderly parents - Voice Chat Recording File
For people who did not join the live discussion, feel free to contribute the ideas in comment blanks below.