Date: Friday, February 5th, 2016

Participants

(from 14 countries)

Host: Rick

Co-Host: Marwa

Teams

Panel PRO (Team A): Flory, Mohiuddin, Haary, George, Djamila.

Panel CON (Team B): Marwa, Hassan, Amir, Soso, Noorola, Jesson.

Audience (Team C): Johny, Bubbly, Behnam, Azamu, Adnan, Taregh, Rojhano, Suren, Atilla.

Team A summary

No so long ago, say 20 or 30 years ago, men use to treat women in a more gentle way than today. Maybe it’s because of the internet or who knows why but something has changed in the last decades.

· There seems to be a tendency to care about expensive things nowadays rather than focusing on the simple things which some women would appreciate more.

· What makes a gentleman be a gentleman are many factors such as growing up in a peaceful and loving environment and nowadays, that kind of environment has become difficult to create or maintain. It’s easier to see this in countries where there are much violence and discrimination. Moreover, with the increase of violence in the world, it’s plausible that chivalry may even disappear.

· A real gentleman would keep his chivalry with all people and not only in private with one woman so it’s difficult to identify a real gentleman from just an interested man.

· One big reason may be because women themselves have also changed and men feel different towards them than before. It is not that men have become ruder or selfish but because women have changed their preferences and attitudes and this have a big impact in how men treat them today in comparison with how they did in the past.

· Many people behave in certain way just to avoid problems rather than being authentically gentlemen. This is seen in environments such as schools, work place or with political relatives. As soon as they change environments and place, you can see they change their attitude.

Team B summary

According to some definitions, a gentleman is a person who is gentle and gentleness can be present in both genders, not only in men. A woman can be also a “gentlewoman” and indeed there are people who are gentle in both genders.

Experiences shape our behavior and the more mature we are, the more likely is for us to become a gentleman.

Mature people have learned important lesson in life and they draw significant conclusions which drive them to be more gentlemen.

In the past, the situations in the society were different. What drove them to be gentlemen were situations of compulsory reactions, meaning that they were forced to be gentlemen otherwise they would lose something; perhaps lands, deals, bargains, business, family position within the society, etc. Those things are no longer present in the modern societies so men are no longer compelled to forcefully behave in a fake and exaggerated way.

However, some of these reasons persist in some circles and in some stratus of some societies and therefore, there are still some “gentlemen” around.

It may be a thing about the place where we live but gentlemen are not extinct just yet. In some countries at least you still see men helping the elders crossing a street, holding doors and ceding their seats to women and old people as well as assisting others when there is no obligation.

Many people are still gentle and thus there are still many “gentle-men”.

Good people and bad people always existed. What changed are the situations, not so much the people.

Nowadays there are gentlemen still. It is just that they only show it in certain situations not all the time because no one is perfect.

Countries and cultures define a gentleman in different ways and many people still recognize them according to their own definitions.

Questions Segment

Mohiuddin’s question to team B: “How gentlemen are incorporated as part of the culture?”

Noorola’s answer: As mentioned before, in some countries the definitions are different. For instance, some countries define a gentleman in religious terms and since those countries are religious, all religious aspects become part of the culture.

George’s question to team B: “Can you ask a person to do more than what you yourself cannot do?”

(In order words, he tries to imply that if someone cannot do or giver beyond his capacities is not considered to be a gentleman)

Hassan’s answer: If you are a supervisor or boss, you can but if you are among equals, you can’t. A woman should not ask to a man to give or be more than what she herself cannot give or be.

Noorola’s question to team A: “If you claim that there are no more gentlemen anymore, and if you think it is good to be gentleman, why aren’t you a gentleman to prove they still exist?

George’s answer: Gentlemen are commonly spotted by women and they are the ones who usually try to define who a gentleman is and who is not. We say that there still are gentlemen but perhaps not based on what women define by gentleman.

Mohiuddin’s answer: Sometimes it is just not possible since the situations in the modern world have changed over time and what was possible in the past it is not possible today.

Team C summary

· Despite people saying that there are no gentlemen anymore, it is not true. There are still good gentlemen out there and to know this we don’t need to look for complicated definitions and concepts. Good and gentle people are there offering their seats to women, helping elders crossing streets, treating his family and strangers in a gentle manner. It is not all about women; it is not only related to women.

· Being a gentleman has nothing to do with being educated or not. It’s about manners, not knowledge.

· It’s true that nowadays females define what a gentleman is and due to the times we are living nowadays; it has become difficult to meet the definitions that women have about gentlemen.

· It all depends on the perspective of the other person.

· Being a gentleman has nothing to do with any religion. Anyone can be a gentleman regardless of what religion they belong to.

· The culture plays a big role in defining what a gentleman is so it all depends on the culture.

· What a gentleman means today is not what people believed over 100 years ago. A long time ago, a very long time ago, a gentleman was a man of wealth and power, which implies that in order to be a gentleman you needed to be wealthy or have some sort of wealth.

· Nowadays the term has completely taken a turn for the better good we can say. In order to be a gentleman you no longer need to be wealthy. To be a gentleman in present time, signifies treating others and specially woman in a respectful manner.

· The problem today is those women think they’re going to go into a club and find a gentleman, (Not saying there might not be one or two, but realistically it’s difficult to find one in such places.)

· What happens normally to the men who would open a car door, write you a poem, a letter, pull your chair when you are about to have dinner, is that even though they do a nice thing, most of the time they are referred to as just “the nice guys.” I think most of us have heard this before.

· In some countries, women often say: “oh He is just too nice, I need him to be little bit tougher.” Or they say they like "bad boys"

· There are indeed gentlemen left in this world. However, most women don't give these guys a chance to show it.

· Most guys are jerks because most women do not appreciate nice guys. When a guy is nice, most women will cheat on him, use him for his money, abuse him and play with his emotions.

· Some women don't take the time to find out they're gentlemen in the first place, because too many women are too busy trying to show every person they come across that they're as good at everything as any man can be.

· Despite the fact the chivalry is seems to be pretty much alluring, the true of the matter is that many of the men’s trends in these times have changed because they have learned the disadvantages of being a traditional gentleman. However, there still are many men who want to consider themselves as such and thus they strive to accomplish it despite all.

· Being a gentleman is not a title any man can give to himself; is one of those things where actions speak louder than words.

Votes:

· Bubbly voted for team B.

· Taregh voted for team B.

· Behnam voted for team A.

· Azamu remained undecided.

· Adnan remained undecided.

· Johny voted for team B.

Team B won this debate. Thanks everyone for participating. Below are the links to listen to this discussion:

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